Some random stuff I wrote on the Facey-Bs

Well, I post too much on Facebook.  May as well put some of my (hopefully) funnier moments of the last two days up here.

On post-lockdown shopping:

There's something so sad about people fighting to get into Primarks and Nike stores on the first day that the shops are open. That somehow spending money in some place where people in conditions not much better than slavery are used to make low quality clothing items will make people feel OK, or important again. That they've been able to socially distance for all these months to avoid passing round a deadly, contagious disease like a big joint at a party but are prepared to risk it all for a new pair of trainers, or some tatty clothing that won't last a year troubles me. I mean for fucks sake, just order your shit for cheap off Amazon, if a megalomaniac profit over people bastard is going to get your money, don't bother leaving the house.

Edit: Just tagging on, this was supposed to be both funny and sad, was trying to take a dig at myself for ordering too much stuff off of Amazon and I'm sure some people have good reason to get stuff from Primark etc., just try not all to rush in at once.

Conor's laws for life

1) The moment you think you're intelligent, is likely the moment you're making a grave error

2) Never start a fight you can't finish

3) Anyone who makes a big deal about being honest or telling the truth, likely aren't

4) Anyone who writes "attended school of hard knocks" on their Facebook profile is 100% a pussy

5) The moment you spot a cash machine with no queue on it, a queue will form as soon as you start walking to it

6) If you're someone who boasts about never eating fruit or veg but gets sick all the time, you're a bit of a knob

7) Devote a percentage of your income on headphones, you will lose them

8) If there is an outcome you really dont want, but there is a small percentage chance of it happening, chuck a tenner on it (see Trump election)

9) if you're writing a rules for life on social media, you must be bored as shit, or a bit of a dick.

10) if you don't fully understand a problem, or social issue and can take the time to study it to figure it out better, do that. Don't just wade in like youre John Wayne in a saloon. Nothing wrong with admitting you're out of your depth. Sometimes just shut the fuck up.

On Lockdown Shape

My body shape, after three months of lifting weights, doing no cardio and drinking and eating too much

I am now the cheapest, least qualified PT in Belfast.  £15 for an hour and a half.. whaaaat?

On Amazon Stealing

Not content with stealing the labour from its workers or the taxes from the coffers, it moves onto stealing wishes marketing strategy

On Accepting you can't fight for shit

Waking up to realize that the dream you had where you had a fight in the UFC scheduled in two weeks time was in fact a dream and you dont have to worry about the fact you still cant fight for shit sets you up for the rest of the day

How not to fight Muay Thai

On Attempting to be smart whilst drunk

On how to make pasta

On how to make a cup of tea

Seriously.