What is wrong with my subconscious?
So last night I had this dream - I was walking this girl I had a crush on in Lancaster home on a bright sunny afternoon. I turned to kiss her good bye This kiss turns into a full on "make out session" and her clothes come off in seconds. She has this ridiculously hot body.. curvy but not fat. Beautiful milky skin, wide hips and incredible round, full breasts.
I get to it and I'm eating her out, I look up to see if she's enjoying it and her head has turned into that of a stone eagle's. Odd I think, so I call her name
and her head goes back to that normal dark eyed, dark haired look, so I go back to munching whilst doing my patented fingering technique. Out of no where, this little puppy goes berserk jumps over the hedge and bites on my wrist and I'm wrestling him off kind of throw him over the hedge.
I turn round and she's gotten dressed again and says:
"Hey I really enjoyed that, I've kind of lost the mood though. Don't worry, I'm going to kill that fox if I see him again"
God damn imaginary puppies.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Random Thoughts from When I've been Wasted, Pt. 1 (week ending 03 October 2010)
Welcome to my (hopefully) weekly report of random bollocks that I have quipped upon or have joined in the random bollocks talking session.
After playing cards and having a drink with the Magic players I caught up with Kenny, Gav, Lemon, George, Lyndsey, Steven for a smoking sesh. A few things were brought up.
1) Sexy Sundays.
Where the phrase sexy Sundays came from will not be known however it soon evolved into a series of Club Nights in a bar. If you work in Club Promotion, consider naming days of the week in an erotic or rude fashion.
Sexy Sundays
Mating Mondays
Tasty Tuesdays
Wankered Wedensdays
Thrusting Thursdays
Fucking Fridays
Shagging Saturdays
It could go on with months but I shall leave you to your own devices about how to figure that one out.
2) The Crystal Meth Maze
Mix the glitz and glamour of the terrific 1990s Adventure Quiz Show with the grittiness of some low down dirty meth addicts. Tweeking team mates must complete challenges with the hope of winning crystal meth rocks. Before the end challenge involving the crystal dome, the team must smoke as much of the meth as possible before going into collect the gold and silver tickets. If they get more gold than silver then they will win their own meth lab.
3) Basil the Great Mouse Detective
Whilst Lindsey was talking of her real life I was bringing up Disney mystery solving classic Basil the Great Mouse Detective and asking her to explain why the two are relevant with each other. It became a joke that if anything said anything they would soon be silenced with the immortal line "What has this got to do with Basil the Great Mouse Detective."
Those were the gems of the week, sadly none of the other getting wasted sessions had too many statements that could be remembered. Saturday we reviewed Steven 1911's brilliant lines that he dished out a few months ago:
"You look like Chris Barrie on Es on Scrapheap challenge at 6 pm on a Sunday evening... You know the pilot episode actually consisted of Chris Barrie and a bunch of crackheads trying to build a plane out of a washing machine"
"I think there should be a reality TV show called "Face Melters" where they get a family of four to stick thei...r head into a microwave and turn it on to 800 degrees and film them living the rest of their life with a melted head."
After that, CJ, Joel and I caught up for a free styling session. Whilst the rap lines were terrific very little can be maintained in dome.
Welcome to my (hopefully) weekly report of random bollocks that I have quipped upon or have joined in the random bollocks talking session.
After playing cards and having a drink with the Magic players I caught up with Kenny, Gav, Lemon, George, Lyndsey, Steven for a smoking sesh. A few things were brought up.
1) Sexy Sundays.
Where the phrase sexy Sundays came from will not be known however it soon evolved into a series of Club Nights in a bar. If you work in Club Promotion, consider naming days of the week in an erotic or rude fashion.
Sexy Sundays
Mating Mondays
Tasty Tuesdays
Wankered Wedensdays
Thrusting Thursdays
Fucking Fridays
Shagging Saturdays
It could go on with months but I shall leave you to your own devices about how to figure that one out.
2) The Crystal Meth Maze
Mix the glitz and glamour of the terrific 1990s Adventure Quiz Show with the grittiness of some low down dirty meth addicts. Tweeking team mates must complete challenges with the hope of winning crystal meth rocks. Before the end challenge involving the crystal dome, the team must smoke as much of the meth as possible before going into collect the gold and silver tickets. If they get more gold than silver then they will win their own meth lab.
3) Basil the Great Mouse Detective
Whilst Lindsey was talking of her real life I was bringing up Disney mystery solving classic Basil the Great Mouse Detective and asking her to explain why the two are relevant with each other. It became a joke that if anything said anything they would soon be silenced with the immortal line "What has this got to do with Basil the Great Mouse Detective."
Those were the gems of the week, sadly none of the other getting wasted sessions had too many statements that could be remembered. Saturday we reviewed Steven 1911's brilliant lines that he dished out a few months ago:
"You look like Chris Barrie on Es on Scrapheap challenge at 6 pm on a Sunday evening... You know the pilot episode actually consisted of Chris Barrie and a bunch of crackheads trying to build a plane out of a washing machine"
"I think there should be a reality TV show called "Face Melters" where they get a family of four to stick thei...r head into a microwave and turn it on to 800 degrees and film them living the rest of their life with a melted head."
After that, CJ, Joel and I caught up for a free styling session. Whilst the rap lines were terrific very little can be maintained in dome.