Hospitality Review 2022

Hospitality Review 2022 So this is my review of hospitality work in 2022, from the perespective of an occasional cash-in-hander, freelancer kinda guy. Basically, as Al Pacino/Michael Corleone famously said (which Sil in The Sopranos does a “great” imitation of), “Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.”

Hospitality is a hard mistress to leave. She might break your body, your mind and have you questioning every facet of humanity, but she’s your mistress. You either enjoy the experience enough to go back, or financial circumstances (or reward as is often the case in this hyper-understaffed world) may bring you back at least momentarily. It’s like smoking – once you start smoking, you’ll never be a non-smoker. You can be an ex-smoker, but that itch will always exist somewhere.

Over the last year, I’ve pulled the odd shift at events and freelanced in an immersive theatre/escape room experience bar in London, whilst over the last month I’ve worked part time in a trendy veggie/vegan restaurant as well the oldest bar (or at least they claim to be) in Belfast’s city centre. I’ve noticed a few things about staff, customers, myself and management/ownership.

Firstly, I’m sorry to anyone who’s had to work with me. Whilst I can still be fast at times, I am still messy. I try to clean up after myself, I sometimes do a shit job of it, smash glasses, spill stuff, have a sink which bounces water in all directions all over the floor and generally have an equal and opposite reaction. Additionally, whilst I have in some ways mellowed over time, my patience hasn’t developed as much as I hoped it would. I am in some ways grumpier and have a shorter fuse, over the smallest things. I think being in my mid 30s, my back is far more tender than it used to be from standing all day and this has caused me to do more complaining than ever before and whilst I think sometimes I might have a good reason to complain, I’m also a whiney bastard. Hopefully I’m funny enough that my gripes aren’t too much of a pain in the ass for those around me.

I do have to remember why I’m doing this hospitality thing. Whilst I do like the extra coin as I try to build savings to save for a house/shoot my next indy short film, part of me thinks it's to humble myself. Having been in a few groups about ranting about how it is to be a bar/restaurant staff member, I sorta feel I have to work some shifts to stay true. I'd love to be a brand rep of a decent brand again, but that seems like a long way off now.

In the Belfast bar, I was sorta given the feeling that I’m doing the bar a favour in the busy period. This has meant that I’ve been calling the shots of when I want to work. For reasons I’ve touched on before, I hate breakdown/clean up. I’m usually too busted to be effective at it and if it’s a bar I don’t know that well, I spend about half the time asking questions like a nosey five year old. I’ve usually arranged to go home more or less when the bar closes. This kinda works for management, for the most part, but it does feel like I’m letting down the regular staff. Apologies again guys. I’m in this for pocket money and to make sure I still have a sembelance of the skills I developed off and on over the better part of a decade

Secondly, staff – most of you guys are working your bollocks off, hats off to you but here’s the thing: know your rights. I’m still hearing stories of management/owners treating you badly, including not giving you breaks, or even contracts. A bar being understaffed isn’t your fault and whilst it’s great that you’re willing to pitch in and help out for extra wages, ask yourself if doing 60-70 hour weeks is really doing you any favours long, or short term. I’ve always thought it was daft, but that’s probably why I never progressed into a management position.

Thirdly, customers haven’t been too bad this year, even with the price of drink being what it is during a cost of living crisis. Perhaps everyone has just accepted that hospitality can be a tough, exhausting gig and also everything is just fucking expensive and there’s not a damn thing that any of us can seem to do about it.

I’ve had a couple of minor disputes, even one guy give off because I told him that the bar I was singlehandedly holdng down (and that’s as a freelancer) didn’t have any Sambucca and he’d need to go next door to the other bar within the building. He was a bit whiney about the fact I wouldn’t do it myself, but I thought we were having some banter and I basically, wearing my heart on my sleeve, but with a smirk about it told him that I had two shifts left and I couldn’t give a shit. He tried to complain to a manager later on and tried to preface it with the most ridiculous faux-posh manner I’ve ever heard “I ordered, shall we say.. liquers and one of your bartenders was rudely-indifferent about them not being there.” I was in ear-shot and did explain to him why I couldn’t get the drink and that I thought he understood my sarcasm. He then did the classic “I was a bartender for ten years and I never treated anyone like a dick. You were a total dick about it.” To which I explained I’m sorry if he thought I was being a dick TO HIM. I was a dicky about it, but I thought he got the situation. He then asked “was I being a dick?”, to which I almost felt like responding “No, but you’re being a total dick now”, but my main aim was to smooth the situation over a little bit in front of the manager and get the then closed bar clean so I could go home.

Another incident happened earlier in the year when a guy telling me his life story, before ordering what I thought was four negronis and a twist on an old fashioned. It was loud and I did feel like I checked with him multiple times if I got his order right. It turned out, he had been yammering on about how he’d had four negronis that night already and just wanted the one other drink to mix it up. After some back and forth, I only charged him for the one drink, but he tried stealing one of the other negronis. He was some sort of friened with the dickhead owner, so I got the drink back off him and sold two of the negronis to a legend nearby. Later as I’m clearing the bar, this clown and his friend are trying to stick the shoulder into me as they’re walking past, but being a good half a foot shorter than me and significantly less built, I chose to ignore them as they bounced off like rubber bullets against a tank.

In both these instances, my poor communication and lack of patience were probably catalysts to the reaction. Someone smoother and more balanced would probably have prevented the bombs from going off, so we’re all dicks in this sitatuon. I do however think that there should be some sort of mandatory National Service for hospitality work and that you should be expected to do two weeks every few years to remind you that you’re not above anyone and that it’s genuinely hard graft. Maybe not as hard a graft as various other forms of manual labour, or working in care homes wiping arses, but a hard enough graft nonetheless.

Fourthly – management. Again, some good management, some bad mamagement experienced over the past year. However, one thing I’ve seen everywhere I’ve worked this year, is a general tightness. For a start pay staff what they’re worth. If you treat them right, you won’t have to waste as much time dealing with a high turnover, or see them not show up to work because they’re overworked and sick. Secondly, items like ice buckets, sweep and scoops cost nothing. Why is it that I’ve worked in multiple places where there appears to be one of these items for an entire complex of bars? It’s not only frustrating for staff to have to run around to another bar to get a brush and scoop, but it’s actually dangerous – the longer broken glass etc. is sitting around, the greater the risk of it being a hazard to someone’s health it is. Same as mops. Most bars should have a dry mop. This should save a fortune in blue roll.

Finally – brands. When will you guys learn to design glasses, particularly pint glasses that will actually stack? Guiness can do it, why do you need some long narrow awkward bastard which will shatter if it’s nudged even a bit, or can’t even be put into another glass without having to crack one of the glasses? It’s awkward and it’s not remotely useful. I’m looking at you Peroni. Bartenders have a big enough difficulty with coupes and nick and noras, they don’t need more stemmed glasses. I’m looking at you Madri. Stop being pretentious wankers. Also Diageo – what the fuck is with those bullshit Guinness 0,0% machines? What an absolute pain in the ass they are for everyone. Nobody wants to spend seven years pouring a pint, whilst the machine patronizes you about the angle of the pour. Fucking knock that shit on the head.

Hope everyone has a great 2023! That’s all.